Two girlfriends chatting over coffee:
“Ah! Look at you – you are in such a great shape. What’s your secret??”
“Carrots, Potatoes …”
“You boil or bake them …?”
“No dear, I plant them.”

Doctor to a patient:
“I do not understand why you want me to prescribe sleeping pills for you – every night you are up late at the pub …”
“Not for me … It’s for my wife!”