Fat lady in a sanatorium to lose weight.
“Waiter, sorry Sir, but I cannot eat from a wet plate!”
“But that’s your soup, ma’am …”

An old Arab man lived in US for more than 50 years. He would have loved to keep planting potatoes in his garden as he’s done all those years, but he is on his own and his only son is studying at a college in London. So, he writes him an email:
“My son, I am very sad, because I can’t plant potatoes in my garden. I wish you were her to help me. Love you, Dad.”
On the next day, a response from his son:
“Dad, I understand your problem, but please don’t touch the garden – I have hidden something there. Love, Muhammed.”
On the next day, at 3 am in the morning a whole bunch of CIA agents raided the the old man’s place, dug the whole garden, but couldn’t find anything, and left the house. After a while another email from the old man’s son arrived:
“Dad, the garden should be dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That’s all I could do for you from here. Love you, Muhammed.”