Man visits his doctor for a check-up. The doctor:
“Sir, things are very serious. You should stop drinking. I know, it is not easy, but could you try instead of a glass of beer to eat an apple, for example.”
“Nonsense. I can’t eat 20 apples a day!”

In the restaurant.
“Waiter, why the flowers in the vase are artificial?”
“Well, sir, …we are a vegetarian restaurant, and we were, indeed, putting real flowers there before, but our customers thought of them as an appetizer.”