Judge to the accused:
“Defendant, why did you kill your wife after 30 years of marriage?”
“Out of laziness, Your Honour.”
“Out of what?!”
“Well, Sir, I’ve been thinking about it for so long: ‘Do it today … do it tomorrow … and so many years went by until …”

Film director to an actress:
“Now we shoot the scene with jumping from the bridge. Come on, jump!”
“But I can’t swim!”
“Don’t worry, we only shoot the jump …”