An old snake went to see an optician.
“Doctor, please check my eyes – I don’t see that well lately!”
The doctor examined her and gave her special glasses, and a follow up appointment was made for her to come back in two weeks time. After two weeks the snake comes back to the office, looking very depressed.
“What is it? The glasses didn’t help?!” – asked the doctor.
“Yes, they helped, of course, but I also found out – over the past two years I’ve been living with a garden hose!”

A bear family preparing themselves to hibernate, but the male kept turning in bed.
The female scolded him:
“How many times I have to tell you – no coffee after September …!”