Woman with her lover in the bedroom. Suddenly someone walks through the apartment door.
“My husband! Quick, jump over the balcony!”
“What?! We are on the thirteenth floor here!”
“Go, go! No time for superstition now!”

In the local swimming pool, two women chatting:
“Jenny, looking good – you’ve lost some weight!?”
“Well yeah, … a lot of suffering, my cheating husband …”
“You are getting divorced …?”
“Not yet! I want to lose another five pounds!”