Little Johnny to his dad:
“Dad, when will I grow up and go out by myself without having to ask for permission”
“I don’t know, son, I still can’t …”

Husband to his wife:
“Your butt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!”
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife, but she doesn’t seem to be interested. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Do you really think I’m going to fire up my big-arse grill for one little sausage?”