Two farmers chatting, one of them has a bruise on his face.
“Hey buddy, what happened with your face?
“Ah, nothing!. One of my cows has the habit of slapping me in the face with the tail when I am milking her …”
“… and that’s how you got the bruise …?”
“Well, I got sick of her doing that, and decided to tie a brick to her tail …!”

Three doctors – surgeons, bragging about their work at an international conference.
“Last year a taxi driver was brought to me in 3 parts. Stitched him up, and now he is a pilot.” – Said the American doctor.
“Look colleagues, when a military aircraft crashed in Syberia two years ago they found the pilot in 20 parts. I managed to put him together and now he is an astronaut!” – Said the Russian.
The Bulgarian:
“When we had an earthquake five years ago, they found a man with just an arse and ears left. Put him together, and now he is my boss!”