A thug goes into a shoe shop and asks:
“Do you have shoelaces?”
“Yes. What kind do you want?,” asks the salesman.
“One left and one right.”

Jimmy ‘The Brain’ didn’t show up for work for 5 days. His ‘colleagues’ began to worry – was he sick or got whacked somewhere…?? Only on the sixth day, he appeared.
“Where have you been, man?”
“I bought a puzzle” , Jimmy said proudly, “And I managed to arrange it in just five days, even though on thee box it said ‘From three to five years!’”