Two friends meet after 20 years and are talking about their families:
“My daughter had studied a lot to become a secretary. Then a lot of work and she became a supervisor. Then a lot more hard work and she is now a director. What about your family …?
“Well …, my daughter also became a slut, but I am not as good storyteller as you are.”

At the bar, a sailor and a pirate chatting. The pirate has only one foot and one eye, and a hook for a hand. The sailor asked:
“Sorry for asking, but why do you have a leg, a hand and an eye missing?
The pirate sighed:
“The leg I lost in a battle with a passenger ship in the Indian Ocean. The hand – a battle with a Portuguese ship and the eye – …a seagull dropped poop on my nose…”
“???”
“Yeah, …it was my first day using the hook ..!”