In court.
“Defendant, why did you rob that store three times?”
“Correction, Your Honour, … only once – to get my wife a dress. The second and the third time I went back to replace it…”

Cowboy sitting at the bar, drinking. Next to him a young lady trying to start a conversation:
“Hey, what do you do…?”
“Well, ma’am – I’m a cowboy. All my life I’ve been a cowboy, my father was a cowboy, my grandfather was a cowboy, and all the men in our family were cowboys. And what about you…?”
“Oh, well… I’m a lesbian. Morning comes – I think about women. While I wash – I think about women, when I eat – think about women. Now that I think of it – all the time I am thinking about women.”
They drank a few, and then she was gone. Next to him sat a big burly man:
“Hey man, what do you do…?”
“Well, what can I say” – replied the cowboy -” I thought I was a cowboy, but I just realized that in fact all my life I’ve been a lesbian!”