Who and how leaves a birthday party?
The Englishman – with dignity.
The Frenchman – with a housewife.
The Russian – on all fours.
The Bulgarian – with the rest of the cake.

Who thinks what after the party:
The Englishman – “Did I keep my dignity?”
The Frenchman – “I should have taken the daughter.”
The Russian – “Wow! I got really plastered last night”
The Bulgarian – “Hmm! I should have taken the rest of the booze with me.”

Frenchman, Englishman and Russian talking about what they tell their wives upon return from a business trip.
The Frenchman:
“I normally ring her from the airport before I get on the plane. Upon landing I ring again to tell her I am coming home soon. If she is with someone, he gets out through the front door before I come.”
The Englishman:
“I just ring from the airport upon landing. Then I ring the bell at the main entrance. If someone is there with her, he leaves through the back door before I come in.”
The Russian:
“Well … , I don’t call, I just ring at the main entrance and then quickly go at the back and wait with a shovel – so far not one missed!”