In Russia, vodka price has gone up.
Son encouragingly turns to his father:
“Dad, that means you’ll slow down drinking?!”
“No son, it means you’ll eat less now!”

A Scotsman takes a ride in a taxi. The taxi began to descend on a narrow and twisty road in a steep mountain. Suddenly, the driver lost control of the car and it was just about to plunge into the abyss.
The driver:
“Oh God! We are going to die!”
The passenger:
“Quick! Turn off the taximeter!”