Scotsman goes to his neighbor:
“Hi John, big problem … ! I have 15 guests and only 10 chairs, you got any spare chairs?”
“Sure.”
“Splendid! … , I’ll send you those 5 (guests).”

Scotsman, travelling by train from Aberdeen to Glasgow, gets off at every station on the way to buy a new ticket. A passenger next to him asks:
“Excuse me Sir, why are you getting off at every station to buy a ticket to the next station, instead of buying a single ticket to Glasgow?”
“You see … , my doctor told me that I am seriously ill and will probably not survive the trip, so I decided to save some money …”