Drunk got on the bus and tried to strike up a conversation with a passenger:
“Oh! What a nice weather!”
No answer. Drunk tries again:
“But I think it might be raining later on … ”
Again no answer.
“Well then …, if there is no one around I’ll take a piss …”

A guy goes to a doctor. The doctor examines him thoroughly, but can’t find anything wrong with him. All the same, he asked:
“Well sir, … do you have a drink occasionally?”
“Occasionally?! Doc, you insult me … I am a professional!”