Moscow. Red Square. Minus 40 degrees. Two guys sitting on a curb when a patrol car came around:
“Good evening, is there any problem here?”
“No Sir, everything is fine, we just broke a bottle of wine and waiting for it to freeze, and pick it up.”

Drunk took a taxi:
” … to the station, please!”
The driver turned around and said:
“Look buddy, we are at the station!”
He looked around, handing him 5 dollars and said:
“Next time, drive more slowly!”