Group of tourists about to go on a trip to the desert, are having a crash course on ‘Survival techniques’.
The course instructor:
“If you get bitten by a snake, you must suck out the poison from the wound immediately.”
One of the tourists:
“Sir, err … what happens if I got bitten on my penis?!”
“Well … then you’ll find out, who really your friend is!”

During the war. A grandma asks soldier:
“Tell me son, what’s the difference between soldiers and partisans?”
“Madam, soldiers attack frontally, whereas partisans prefer a surprise attack from the back.”
“Aha! So my old man was a partisan then …!”