Winter. Flu epidemic. Long queue at the pharmacy. A man is rushing in and jumps the queue:
“Sorry … , it’s an emergency – I’ve got a man in bed at home! May I go next?”
They all agreed, and the man turned to the chemist:
“A pack of condoms and a Vaseline, please!”

Two girlfriends talking:
“Yesterday I bought a vibrator with a warranty”
“What kind of warranty?”
“The salesman said that if the vibrator doesn’t work – he will personally come over to finish the job …”