Two old, and senile friends squabbling:
“You old fart! I will not come to your funeral!”
“Oh yeah? And I will not even ask you to…!”

Gentleman dating an older lady, dared to ask her how old she is.
She was not quite comfortable answering the question, but since he asked, she tried her best:
“Well … I have to pick my daughter from the kindergarten today.”
“Ah see! … She must be the supervisor there?”